If not for the skinny jeans…

Posts Tagged ‘fuel

Before you read any further, you can rest assured this is not a debbie-downer post.  🙂  (It’s also not my most upbeat post either) (also, it may seem similar to my last post, but this is more about the why’s)

If you’ve been following along for a little bit, you’ll remember this post.  I can say without a doubt that it was during that one meal that all my motivation went out the window.  And then it snowballed.  One thing after another, after another.  It sucked.

I had a wonderful vacation and even found my new house!  But, honestly, things just never picked up to how they were.

I can’t say for certain what happened in my noggin, but whatever it is, it has been damn near impossible to fix.  (Notice I said “near”)

Sitting in my bed last night, chatting with one of my besties, I realized what my problem was, and then had my thoughts spoken for me by my trainer.  My emotions have gotten all out of whack.  I am a very emotional person, whether or not I show it.

I have been within the same 10 lb range since January.  My jean size had dropped to a 6, and I’m now back at an 8.  I am constantly comparing myself to strangers, and even worse, my friends.

I realized last night that my mentality had completely shifted, and not for the good.  “I’m just gonna gain it all back so why not eat that brownie/cake/cookie/extra slice…” (you get the point)  I’m glad I’m realizing this now instead of AFTER I would have gained the weight.

I’ve acknowledged that I’m at a motivational/emotional low point in my journey.  I’ve said on more than one occasion that motivation is not a stagnant idea.  It waxes and wanes like the moon.

Just to put this down on paper though, I think these are some of my triggers:

1. I set my expectations higher than I was willing to work for

2. The stress from the upcoming move (next week, eeeek)

3. It’s summer break and I’m not used to having to entertain both of my kids at the same time

4. I’m already feeling like I’ll be “lost” without Nick… 

5. I’m nervous I will gain the weight back since I seem to found a “comfortable” weight

6. I’m frustrated that I have to work so hard and either (a) those around me don’t appreciate my efforts or (b) those around me aren’t supporting my lifestyle that I’m TRYING to live…

7. I’m currently watching my two kiddos (ages 1 and 5) as well as my nieces (ages 3 and 7) and getting enough exercise in as well as the right foods is way harder than I thought it would be

I’m hoping that I can get back on track once things have settled down.  There are only so many things that are in my control that I have to learn how to deal with the things that I can’t control.  My marathon training starts Tuesday… and yes, I’m very nervous about it.  One of my biggest stressors about that is that I’m supposed to run my first 6 miles the same day I am to start the move…  I do know that if I’m not going to make it far at all in this training if I don’t change some things though.  

**I’d love to hear your comments/stories about any setbacks you had and how you overcame them!**

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While at the gym the other day with Nick, I could see that I had gained weight.  I hadn’t realized that it had gotten that bad.  I was looking at myself thinking, “oh god… have i seriously killed months of hard work just by not paying at much attention??”  I already know how much nutrition is as far as getting fit, and I honestly didn’t think I had gotten so far away from my 80/20.  So I went ahead and weighed myself.  

WHOA!

158 lbs 😦

Now, is that number making me depressed?  Am I saying I am a failure because I’ve gained weight? No and no.

It was a wake up call.  As I’m writing this, I’m making mental notes to repair my slip-ups.  I know that things have been way off schedule for me since Link’s visit in May, but for a while I was still able to manage.  Actually, while he was here, things were great.  It was after that that things started to fall apart.  I saw the signs and didn’t act on it.  Now, I’ve fallen much farther into this “pit” and I’m telling you know, I will climb back out.

I may be covered in mud and exhausted, but I will find my way back out.  I may be frustrated and grabbing for every single branch that lends it’s way towards me, but I will get out.  My nutrition will get back to normal and I will start feeling healthy again.

On a side note: My marathon training starts next week and to tell you I’m nervous doesn’t even start to come close to how I’m feeling about it.  The mileage is 3/3/3/6.  I know I’m not running for time, but I’ve never run over 6 miles.  There will be lots of mental struggles involved with this run.  With this training comes even more reason to fix my nutrition.  I can’t run at my best if I’m not fueling my body with the best fuel I can.

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers.  Not just the ones with little munchkins clawing at their legs for attention, but to those with four-legged babies, feathered babies, gilled babies, surrogate children (I know I have a few “moms” out there), and the mommas who may have lost their little ones early on.  Although I do agree that Moms as a whole should be celebrated on a daily basis, because I mean seriously, WE’RE AWESOME, it takes the effect away.

By have a one day dedicated to mothers, it’s a day for momma’s to really enjoy being pampered for all we do.  My daughter made a joke the other day: “Daddy, what does one daddy plus one daddy equal?”  (We both had no idea where she was going with it…) Link: “I don’t know baby, what?”  Ell: a Mommy!!!  

I, of course, thought it was hilarious!  It takes two daddies to do what one mommy does… yep, still giggling inside.  

Before the rants start, there are some stellar dads out there, but hey, this is my day! 🙂

Anywho, back to becoming a better me.  I was in a funk of a mood Friday and Saturday for a variety of reasons, one of them being that I wasn’t fueling myself properly.  The types of food weren’t the best, but they definitely weren’t bad.  The bigger problem was because I was moving moving moving this weekend, I just wasn’t getting enough of it.  

I’m hoping this has to do with the shock my body has been going through since Nick changed my workouts.  We’ve seriously upped the intensity of the workouts and I’m already noticing differences in my legs, it’s crazy!  I’m loving every single, sweat dripping workout!  I feel better prepared to tackle my dietary disciple issues because I’m working so hard at the gym.  I don’t want to be my own success’s saboteur!

I did have to take it pretty easy as far as working out goes this weekend though.  My arches have been killing me!  I did some myofacial release on them to help alleviate the pain and it definitely helped.  It’s much better today, but I think I’m still going to skip a run tomorrow and do another type of high intensity, low impact cardio.  We will see.  I pinned a bunch of new workouts I want to try on Pintrest!  Oh, what’s that?  You want to follow me on there??  Be my guest, you can find me right here

Link will be going back to play in the sandbox for a few more months later on this week.  I’m hoping to expend my lonely energies at the gym and just wait for the endorphins to help me through it.  I will keep everyone posted as to how the week goes.  

Oh, and black bean brownies are on the “to bake” list week.  Pictures and review to come! 

Hope you have a great week!


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