If not for the skinny jeans…

Posts Tagged ‘motivation

I have been having some issues recently with body image and weight and motivation. I have friends who are very supportive and will do everything they can to help me. I have friends who don’t really “get it” and try to be supportive but don’t really know how. I have friends who are jealous of my successes and have openly told me so. I have tried to be as honest in this blog as I can be. I’m a work In progress and I’m pretty sure that’s how it’s always going to be.
What I don’t like it how low I think of myself on a daily basis. No number of compliments will break this feeling of I’m constantly letting myself down. The guilt I feel on any given day is ridiculous. I’m a work in progress. I am not looking for compliments. I am trying to get my brain to do this major switch that it just doesn’t seem to want to do. Yea, part of this is from my weight. But only part.
While unpacking, i found my still good prescription for phentermine. For those of you who don’t know, it’s an appetite suppressant. I am not one who believes in the magic pill. But, I do believe it will (and has) given back to me my lost motivation. So, I’ve decided that since I am not training at the level/intensity I was training at before, I am going to finish my prescription. There will be nay-sayers, but this is my choice. I’m at an all too familiar feeling of “I can’t lose weight past 155lb.” I know I’m capable of losing it, now I just need to figure out how to get there.

Those who know me personally know I am a Pintrest freak!!  So, for some quick enjoyment, here are some of my favorite pins from my fit board!

4355c59e934a136f879099a3aa3e53e8 82550d5eb6c492fd45f16b86f30c8b32 207163c8ba62710506b789a276547041 87450627a658cd55d0721c601c89578d c7e342d7f7a8484f1e9a71e204469c00 dbb4f6f5e9ef7851440535240aaf3708

Well I have a feeling the whole 30 days are going to start sounding very familiar considering I’m eating essentially the same thing for a week at a time.  I know that doing my food this way will work for me, but won’t be very entertaining for y’all reading this.

coconut thai curry chicken with onions, red pepper and zucchini

coconut thai curry chicken with onions, red pepper and zucchini

I finally had the curry I made and it was honestly delicious!  I was pleasantly surprised.  I didn’t know what to expect, but I’m very happy with what I got.  And more times than I can count I’ve found myself so happy that I have pre-made meals that just need to be nuked.  I finally took my progress pictures (found below) for my past month.  I am very happy with the results to be completely honest.  Yes I know I have further to go, but coming from where I’ve been, I’m happy!

Hmm, what else has occupied my past two days?  Oh!  A big a$$ spider!!  I don’t know how many people know this, but while I was in the Army I was bit 4 flipping times on the top of my thigh by a brown recluse.  It happened while I was sleeping and I guess he kept biting me probably because I kept moving.  Yes, a nasty creepy crawler was IN MY BED!!  Mind you, before this, I wasn’t scared of spiders at all.  I was that person who let them live in the nooks and crannies because they ate the more annoying bugs.

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Anyway, it was graduation/family day and I saw the “bug” bites but didn’t think anything of them.  They progressively got worse, but I refused to let some stupid allergic reaction stop my family day.  But, by 10 o’clock that night, the bites were filled with puss, there was an area about the size of a large dinner plate that was turning purple, and from knee to hip crease, my leg was bright red and inflamed.  I finally went to the hospital, found out what actually bit me, got the antidote (which felt like FIRE), and considered myself very lucky.  Since then, the only spiders that live when I’m around are easily identifiable ones, and they have to be little, like your average wolf spider.  Tuesday morning I went to pick up my cat’s food plate and holy shiz!! There was a huge spider guarding my cat’s food!  I flipped out and ran upstairs to get my Mom so she could kill it.  I was absolutely terrified.  We sprayed it and had to trap it under a bowl because it was bouncing around.  Later on I actually got my brother to get a good picture of it…  IMG_2039

Needless to say, pest control is coming out!

I will have an update as to what kind of spider it actually was in the next post!  Please oh please don’t let it be a brown recluse….

And now onto the before and afters…. Horribly lead in I know, but I was getting the heeby jeebies again….

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quarter turn left

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front

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quarter turn right

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profile (relaxed)

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profile

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back (relaxed)

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back (flexed)

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back (flexed)

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glute/hamstring connection

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glute/hamstring connection (crossed)

Before and After

I posted this on my facebook page so I thought I’d share it with you lovely people. The “after” is from this mornings workout.

I don’t get to post many of these because, well, I’m the one working out!  Nick was nice enough to get these for me.  I did have a slight injury to my left groin area after working out on Saturday.  It was bad enough I had to cut the training short, but it’s doing much better now.  At my training I made sure to tell Nick if it was being bothered or not and we adjusted the exercise as necessary.

He’s got me doing all sorts of exercises, but the pictured ones below are just a straight leg dead lift and lunges.  The step is there because I can  go further than my toes and deeper in my lunges thanks to my flexibility.  And thanks to my flexibility and Nick knowing how flexible I am, he makes me get the FULL range of motion when working out.  I hear “go deeper” or “further down” almost every time I train with him.  (Keep your dirty thoughts to yourself!!)

In any case, here are the pictures as promised!

photo 1photo 3

 

Wanna know what else is cool??  Or at least I think it is…

See the bulge in the middle of my hamstring?  That is apparently the “bicep femoris.”  Bicep makes you think of your arm right?  Two and two together…  That muscle basically reacts like your arm bicep!  And you can see mine now!!  Yay.

And just for reference:

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New Book

Posted on: May 7, 2013

very rarely buy books at full price anymore thanks to wonderful stores like Half Price Books and trusty Amazon.  Today, on a whim, Link and I decided to head over to Books-A-Million to peruse their overpriced selections.  We both have a kindle reader of some sort or another (I have a paperwhite and he has an iPad), but some times it’s just nice to hold a physical book.

My meandering lead me over to the cook books and fitness/health sections (surprise surprise).  I found this book.

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I figured with everything I’ve been going through, some motivational stories might do me some good.  I’m planning to read a few tonight.  I’ll give you guys a little review once I’m done 🙂


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