If not for the skinny jeans…

Posts Tagged ‘plan

I have been having some issues recently with body image and weight and motivation. I have friends who are very supportive and will do everything they can to help me. I have friends who don’t really “get it” and try to be supportive but don’t really know how. I have friends who are jealous of my successes and have openly told me so. I have tried to be as honest in this blog as I can be. I’m a work In progress and I’m pretty sure that’s how it’s always going to be.
What I don’t like it how low I think of myself on a daily basis. No number of compliments will break this feeling of I’m constantly letting myself down. The guilt I feel on any given day is ridiculous. I’m a work in progress. I am not looking for compliments. I am trying to get my brain to do this major switch that it just doesn’t seem to want to do. Yea, part of this is from my weight. But only part.
While unpacking, i found my still good prescription for phentermine. For those of you who don’t know, it’s an appetite suppressant. I am not one who believes in the magic pill. But, I do believe it will (and has) given back to me my lost motivation. So, I’ve decided that since I am not training at the level/intensity I was training at before, I am going to finish my prescription. There will be nay-sayers, but this is my choice. I’m at an all too familiar feeling of “I can’t lose weight past 155lb.” I know I’m capable of losing it, now I just need to figure out how to get there.

I was going through some of my old weight watchers goodies and I realized something.  I have been working on improving myself has hit it’s one year anniversary.

Yes, I have been dealing with my weight for a number years now, but I’ve got actual documentation from weight watchers.  When I joined weight watchers it was May 12, 2012 and I weighed 188.8 pounds.  I was roughly 6 weeks post-partum and miserably tired.

I am 155 pounds (give or take depending on the day LOL) and I’m happy.  Honestly happy.  There was a time that I was so frustrated with my scale that I was honestly depressed I “couldn’t” lose weight anymore.  I am at my body’s comfort zone right now.  And I’m okay with that.  I am in a size 6 (I just found that out yesterday!!) and I’m the smallest and strongest I’ve ever been.  I’m toned.  I have confidence in myself.  So much so that I’ve signed up for a marathon of all things!!

I don’t count my points anymore, but I do watch my caloric intake, as well as watching my macro nutrients.  I drink anywhere between a half and whole gallon of water a day, and if I don’t, I’ve got a headache the whole next day.  My diet is roughly 70% clean and that works for me and my family.

In order to celebrate this “anniversary” here are some things I’ve learned along the way:

  • You can’t out-exercise a bad diet
  • Sometimes you need to give yourself a break, indulge and get back on the wagon
  • Food intake has been the absolute hardest part of changing my lifestyle
  • Forgive yourself, you are not perfect
  • Drink water.  Drink when you’re thirsty.  Drink when you’re hungry.  Drink when you THINK your hungry.  Just drink!
  • You will have set backs.  You will over indulge and love every single taste.  You’ll feel like crap shortly after.  You will be fine and you just need to put that in the memory bank for the next time you want to eat the whole batch of delicious cupcakes you make for you daughter’s birthday 😉
  • Lift weights and lift heavy!
  • push your limits
  • find yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually.  it makes a difference
  • You can’t plan out every single day and expect it to actually work every single day.  work with the challenges.  they make you stronger
  • a little retail therapy when you’ve lost your motivation can go a long way
  • planning = success
  • TAKE EVERY SINGLE COMPLIMENT YOU ARE GIVEN.  (and don’t be so stingy with them either)
  • You are more important than what the scale reads.  You will plateau on the scale but not in reality.
  • Take progress pictures!!

Okay I should probably stop.  Yes, I’ve learned a lot.  Some of them are more at the front of my brain than others, but they are in there regardless.

If you are on your own journey, I wish you all the best!

I have been taking before and after shots since I started working with Nick.  Just recently I had a meltdown because I wasn’t seeing/feeling any different.  I knew I was getting stronger, but I didn’t feel like I was getting any leaner.  I was frustrated and complaining to both Link and Nick about it.  Frustrated doesn’t even really come close to how I felt to be honest.

I am all for getting stronger.  I have been promoting the benefits of lifting for some time now.  I love the benefits I’ve been reaping thanks to lifting.  I apparently still need some help to get over my mental road blocks.  I still find myself turning to food to help deal with stress.  I still see myself as “chubby” and I am very critical of myself.

Here are my original before and afters:

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It took Tom pointing out the difference because I honestly could not see them.  I see them now and feel crazy for not having seen it before.  No, they’re not drastic, but they don’t need to be!  It’s progress and that’s what I need to be concerned with!

I showed them to Nick as well.  He made a valid point… I need to get out of the shorts!  How am I going to see the progress in my legs if I’ve covered them up?  I have always had major insecurities with the “thickness” of my legs and booty, which is why I put the shorts on.  So, I’ve got new before pictures.  In a triangle bikini no less.  I took them last night and it was like some weird form of torture.  I like being on the seeing side of the camera, not the seen.  I cannot thank Link enough for helping me with them.  I felt awkward and exposed.  Not the best feeling in the world, let me tell you.

But, after looking at them, I can see even without pictures to compare them to, I know I’ve made progress.  Of course there are things I don’t like.  I’m trying really hard to not focus on those parts.  In order to keep with the whole honesty idea of this blog, I’m sharing these pictures with you.  And I may or may not be planning to compete in an ACTUAL fitness competition come September which is where the poses are coming from.

oh, and um, don’t mind my crazy, it’s way past my bedtime hair 😉

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I have been going back and forth recently trying to decide if I want my body fat calculated. The bigger part (giggling here) sounds off with a loud resounding YES! I need to know where I’m starting from in order to get where I’m going.

Then there is the other part. The part that is scared of the truth. I have no idea how knowing my body fat will affect me emotionally and that scares me.

I have found numerous ways to calculate your body fat. Each system has its own degree of error. Here are some of the tests I have found:

(1) Body Mass Index – otherwise known as BMI.  This is the LEAST accurate assessment of a person’s body fat.  It is simply a height to weight ratio that gives a general idea of your health.  It does not take into account a person’s lean muscle versus body fat.  My BMI is 26.8 (overweight).  You can find your BMI here.

(2) Weight Scales – There are numerous scales available now that can quickly give you your body fat.  Some are fancier than others.  The inaccuracies with this one come with consistency.  You should always weigh yourself at the same time of the day, as well as similar clothing (or lack thereof).  With that being said, when using a scale that can analyze an individual’s body fat, how hydrated the person is can alter the results.  I have the Weight Watchers scale and according to this scale, my body fat is 32.2%.

(3) Circumference measurements – These are the body measurements you take with a measuring tape.  The do have the capability to be inaccurate if the “tester” (normally yourself) does not consistently measure in the same place every time.  To get the best readings, a tester needs to take the same measurement three times and get the average of the three measurements.  I found this online calculator if you’re interested in this technique.  My body fat according to this technique was 24.2%.

(4) Skin Fold/Calipers – This method uses a device to physically measure the thickness of your skin folds are specified locations.  There are one-site tests all the way up to nine-site tests (that I have found).  Like the tape measuring, using a different tester or if the tester doesn’t consistently use the same place, the results can be inaccurate.  I recently bought a caliper and doing a three-site test (with Link’s help), my body fat was 25%.  If you have a caliper at home and are curious to find out what those numbers mean and how to get the measurements, you can read about it here, calculator included.

(5) Bod Pod – This is the one I knew the least about when I started looking around.  I knew about hydrostatic testing (which is the next bullet down) and the Bod Pod is similar to that… at least in theory.  The big difference?  One is done in water, the other one is not.  The Bod Pod is a capsule of sorts you sit in and once the capsule is sealed it takes numerous measurements and prints out a pretty little reading of you body’s make up.  It claims to be as effective at the hydrostatic testing.  I don’t personally believe it.  On two separate occasions I found the readings to be way off on two different women.  You can read their posts here and here.  I think I would still like to have it done simply as a “just to know” situation.

(6) Hydrostatic Testing – This is the gold standard for body fat testing.  You are submerged underwater and the readings are analyzed.  I know that’s a really simple explanation of the process, but sometimes it’s just better to leave things simple.  As soon as I can find a location that can do this without breaking the bank, I will be doing this!

Regardless of how I chose to ultimately track my body fat going down, I just have to keep in mind that consistency is key.  As long as the numbers are going down, they are at least giving some indication that I, and you, are on the right path!  If you’d like more information or have any questions about any of these, just post your questions!  I’m really intrigued by this particular topic and would love your feedback!  What’s your preferred choice?

First and foremost: LINK IS HOME!!! His two week “vacation” started this morning, so I was crazy getting the house and kids ready, which is more or less the reason I haven’t posted much in the past week (ish).

Now, onto blog business. A quick update with my “no scale” challenge. It’s been hard. Honestly. I hate not knowing how much I weigh. At one point, a couple of weeks ago, Nick wanted to get my stats, so I found out then what my weight was, and seriously, it was like getting taking a huge breath after you’ve been underwater to that point just before you know you might want to consider coming up for air. I haven’t looked since though. I’m starting to feel the “itch” though. LOL May 4th is the day my scale comes back out. One more week.

On Friday Nick decided it was a good day to work my entire back half. Wow. Lots of dead lifts. Lots and lots of dead lifts. I was actually able to do 185 pounds, whereas last week I could only do 165 pounds. 20 pound difference in a week? I’ll take it! I try to tell myself those are the numbers that matter, even if it doesn’t sink in every time.

We also did some ab work on the TRX. It’s a great training area/device/contraption/torture device if you can find the right form. Some of the exercises are a bit hard to find the right form, at least for me they are, but I think that’s what I’m going to start working on because I really do like how it works.

I’ve included a couple of pictures that Nick took while I was working with cables and while on the TRX.

—Take care of your body, it’s the only one you have!

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and I need to face him.  I am craving sweets like crazy again.  That may just be me I’m realizing.  Without thinking I had a mini blizzard on Friday night then a small ice cream from Rita’s on Saturday night!  I seriously didn’t even realize I had eaten ice cream two night in a row until this morning when I was trying to remember how long ago it was since I had that blizzard.  I am noticing that the weekends are just flat out hard for me.  During the week, I’ve got a routine and it’s easy enough to stick to.  I feel so in control.  

Come Saturday though… 

ugh.

I don’t eat breakfast right away because I have a weight watchers meeting at 8:30.  So I postpone it until 9:30 or so, which means I’ve been awake for roughly two hours at that point without breaking my fast… and I’m starving.  I either turn to Dunkin Donuts for my skim milk iced coffee with splenda and an everything donut with a little bit of light veggie cream cheese, or once I get home I eat a huge bowl of cereal with whole or almond milk.  

Then maybe it’s because I ate so much later than normal, but I don’t feel the urge to eat lunch until closer to 2pm or so.  Of course I don’t always make the best choices, like a basic sandwich sans veggies, with some other simple processed snack to go with it.  I’ll snack around 4 or 5pm with my nut mix, and since my Mom tends to cook on the weekends it’s not always the friendliest to my goals. 

for example: Saturday night we had oven “fried” chicken, mashed potatoes and broccoli.  Sunday night we had SOS (otherwise known as creamed chipped beef on toast).

I don’t pig out at least.  But I don’t make something healthier for me.  I try to make the best of it…  wait.  That sounds like I don’t like the food.  Of course I like the food!  It’s delicious!  I love it when my Mom cooks!  It’s just not always something I would have made having certain goals in mind.

Finally, I want to point something out.  Have you noticed I haven’t mentioned water once?  That’s because I rarely drink anything on the weekends!  I have no idea why!  But it may also be why I want sweets as bad as I do.  It may be a fall back for me since I love fruit and fruit has a lot of water and maybe if I eat some fruit I’ll rehydrate a little…  Well, it’s a worth a thought at least! LOL  

I planned out this coming Saturday and Sunday and I have every intention of sticking to the plan!  Normally I leave spaces open for them to kinda “play” with.  I can’t do that anymore.  I check out all the way on the weekends and that’s not how I’m going to better myself.  This is my challenge right now….

I’m hoping that with better planning, I can prepare myself for the sneak attacks coming from the snack pantry! Tomorrow, I’ll be firing up the grill and getting the bulk of the meats cooked up and ready to go. Hopefully this works!Image


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