If not for the skinny jeans…

Posts Tagged ‘change

Well, I’m coming up on being on phentermine for a week now. I’ve lost about 7 pounds. That’s honestly a little too quick for me, so I’m going to start taking a half dose everyday. It has seriously curbed my appetite, which is good and bad. I don’t snack at all anymore, which is good. But I also have next to no appetite so I’m not eating enough at each meal either. That latter reason is more of the reason I’m going to drop the dosage to half.

I still haven’t made it into a gym and to be completely honest I doubt I will go to the gym before school starts. On a plus side though, UTSA has a great weight room!!! I’m looking forward to getting back in there! I have set up a little fitness area in my bedroom that include a yoga mat, resistance bands, two different size stability balls, a Pilates circle, two jump ropes, numerous DVDs, and my foam roller. I’ve been getting some sort of workout in a few days a week, but nothing like I was before. I can already see and feel a difference in my body from not lifting, and it sucks. At this point though, something is better than nothing, and since I can’t really attack my workouts like I want to, I’ve put a lot of focus on my nutrition and making sure I’m eating as clean as I can.

In other news:
1. A coral snake decided to join my daughters and I yesterday morning while we were enjoying the morning outside. For those of you who don’t know what a coral snake is, it’s venomous. It’s often mistaken for the king snake because they are patterned similarly. Red, yellow and black rings. Thank god I remembered the old rhyme! “If red touches yellow, you’re a dead fellow. If red touches black, it’s a friend of jack.” Animal control wasn’t able to get it out of its hiding spot, so I’m still in no rush to go in our backyard.
2. The goob is all signed up for kindergarten. Where have the last almost SIX YEARS gone?!
3. Link will be coming home soon. Not super soon, but the countdown has started!

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Before you read any further, you can rest assured this is not a debbie-downer post. ¬†ūüôā ¬†(It’s also not my most upbeat post either) (also, it may seem similar to my last post, but this is more about the why’s)

If you’ve been following along for a little bit, you’ll remember this post. ¬†I can say without a doubt that it was during that one meal that all my motivation went out the window. ¬†And then it snowballed. ¬†One thing after another, after another. ¬†It sucked.

I had a wonderful vacation and even found my new house!  But, honestly, things just never picked up to how they were.

I can’t say for certain what happened in my noggin, but whatever it is, it has been damn near impossible to fix. ¬†(Notice I said “near”)

Sitting in my bed last night, chatting with one of my besties, I realized what my problem was, and then had my thoughts spoken for me by my trainer.  My emotions have gotten all out of whack.  I am a very emotional person, whether or not I show it.

I have been within the same 10 lb range since January. ¬†My jean size had dropped to a 6, and I’m now back at an 8. ¬†I am constantly comparing myself to strangers, and even worse, my friends.

I realized last night that my mentality had completely shifted, and not for the good. ¬†“I’m just gonna gain it all back so why not eat that brownie/cake/cookie/extra slice…” (you get the point) ¬†I’m glad I’m realizing this now instead of AFTER I would have gained the weight.

I’ve acknowledged that I’m at a motivational/emotional low point in my journey. ¬†I’ve said on more than one occasion that motivation is not a stagnant idea. ¬†It waxes and wanes like the moon.

Just to put this down on paper though, I think these are some of my triggers:

1. I set my expectations higher than I was willing to work for

2. The stress from the upcoming move (next week, eeeek)

3. It’s summer break and I’m not used to having to entertain both of my kids at the same time

4. I’m already feeling like I’ll be “lost” without Nick…¬†

5. I’m nervous I will gain the weight back since I seem to found a “comfortable” weight

6. I’m frustrated that I have to work so hard and either (a) those around me don’t appreciate my efforts or (b) those around me aren’t supporting my lifestyle that I’m TRYING to live…

7. I’m currently watching my two kiddos (ages 1 and 5) as well as my nieces (ages 3 and 7) and getting enough exercise in as well as the right foods is way harder than I thought it would be

I’m hoping that I can get back on track once things have settled down. ¬†There are only so many things that¬†are in my control that I have to learn how to deal with the things that I¬†can’t control. ¬†My marathon training starts Tuesday… and yes, I’m very nervous about it. ¬†One of my biggest stressors about that is that I’m supposed to run my first 6 miles the same day I am to start the move… ¬†I do know that if I’m not going to make it far at all in this training if I don’t change some things though. ¬†

**I’d love to hear your comments/stories about any setbacks you had and how you overcame them!**

While at the gym the other day with Nick, I could see that I had gained weight. ¬†I hadn’t realized that it had gotten that bad. ¬†I was looking at myself thinking, “oh god… have i seriously killed months of hard work just by not paying at much attention??” ¬†I already know how much nutrition is as far as getting fit, and I honestly didn’t think I had gotten so far away from my 80/20. ¬†So I went ahead and weighed myself. ¬†

WHOA!

158 lbs ūüė¶

Now, is that number making me depressed? ¬†Am I saying I am a failure because I’ve gained weight? No and no.

It was a wake up call. ¬†As I’m writing this, I’m making mental notes to repair my slip-ups. ¬†I know that things have been way off schedule for me since Link’s visit in May, but for a while I was still able to manage. ¬†Actually, while he was here, things were great. ¬†It was after that that things started to fall apart. ¬†I saw the signs and didn’t act on it. ¬†Now, I’ve fallen much farther into this “pit” and I’m telling you know, I¬†will climb back out.

I may be covered in mud and exhausted, but I will find my way back out. ¬†I may be frustrated and grabbing for every single branch that lends it’s way towards me, but I will get out. ¬†My nutrition will get back to normal and I will start feeling healthy again.

On a side note: My marathon training starts next week and to tell you I’m nervous doesn’t even start to come close to how I’m feeling about it. ¬†The mileage is 3/3/3/6. ¬†I know I’m not running for time, but I’ve never run over 6 miles. ¬†There will be lots of mental struggles involved with this run. ¬†With this training comes even more reason to fix my nutrition. ¬†I can’t run at my best if I’m not fueling my body with the best fuel I can.

It didn’t, and still doesn’t, feel like much has changed, physically in a year. ¬†Here’s proof that I and my dear friend over at Road to Recovery¬†have both changed. ¬†Now, if only there were a way to see the mental and emotional changes that occurred too!!

Image

taken July 2012

Image

taken June 2013

Today wasn’t perfectly whole 30, but nowhere near as horrible as yesterday’s “cheat.” ¬†Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a cheat meal here and there, but yesterday I definitely overdid it. ¬†There were some immediate effects from all the crap too.

1. I was so bloated!  It literally looked like I had gained 5 pounds in my stomach alone.

2. I was super drowsy.  So much so that I went to lay down on a couch because of the headache, and before I knew it, I was being woken up over an hour later!  I had no idea I had even gone to sleep.

3. I was more irritable. ¬†Maybe it was a combination of the yucky feelings on the inside mixed with some guilt, or maybe the food really just made me more irritable. ¬†I don’t know. ¬†I do know that my kids were irritating me more than normal yesterday ūüėČ

4. I didn’t sleep as soundly as I had been. ¬†I woke up twice. ¬†Not long, but enough to remember it the next day. ¬†And both times it was because I was uncomfortable.

Those are just a few of the things that stuck out to me. ¬†Honestly, the cheat wasn’t worth it. ¬†It was delicious, but not worth it. ¬†Moderation is the key, and I apparently forgot that little mantra. ¬†I am really hoping that with the amount of water I drank and the effort I put into my food choices today that I will hopefully start feeling better tomorrow, or more likely the day after. ¬†I’m already preparing for another detox, but hopefully since it was only the one REALLY bad meal, it won’t hit me as hard. ¬†Here’s hoping.

Besides my food, as far as the rest of my self improvement goes I did minimal core work along with my headstands (which are coming along nicely now, although I still need support), as well as some house/garage cleaning since today was supposed to be considered an active rest day and I played Bingo with my grandma as we do every Saturday night.  Tomorrow is a full on rest day, so I will be planning out and cooking my meals for the week as well as taking care of other minimal chores around the house.

Breakfast – red pepper, zucchini, and onion frittata with sides of strawberries and mashed sweet potato

red pepper, zucchini and onion fritatta

 

red pepper, zucchini and onion fritatta

Immediately Post workout – protein shake made with water and some watermelon or strawberries

Post workout meal (lunch) – tilapia (x2) with a splash of lemon, a spring mix salad with lots of cucumber, and a side of butternut squash

Mid day meal – handful of cashews and almonds

Dinner – coconut thai chicken curry with a side salad

before bed (if needed) – protein shake made with almond milk

IMG_2029I’m drinking at least 2 glasses of water as soon as I get up, and while I’m eating breakfast, if I need it I drink a small cup of coffee with 1/2 tbsp of liquid creamer (I know it’s not “on plan”). ¬†I am working my way to black coffee since I honestly don’t drink coffee that often, maybe one a week or so. ¬†I don’t drink any juice or soda, and I’m not adding any of the to-go packets into my waters. ¬†I’m getting between 1/2-1 gal of water a day.

As for supplements I’m taking a multi-vitamin, fish oil, a blend of healthy aminos, calcium, probiotics, OxyElite, glutamine and BCAA’s. ¬†If I’m training, I take two (pill) BCAA’s with that first glass of water in the morning and then while I’m working out I put a scoop of BCAA’s in my water to drink and refill as necessary. ¬†If I’m not training, I just take the two in the morning.

If you have any questions about what I’m eating or have any ideas for me to try shoot them on over!!

It’s May 31st so that means my Whole30 challenge starts tomorrow. ¬†If you read one of the last posts (click here) you know that these past few days I did some nutritional cleaning so that I’m not as shocked for what awaits me with this challenge.

Brain fart. ¬†This isn’t a challenge! ¬†It’s an opportunity!!

Back to what I was saying… ¬†My diet consisted of A LOT of white fish and lean chicken for my protein sources and a ridiculous amount of broccoli, asparagus and spinach for my greens. ¬†My traditional carb intake was next to nil, and in it’s place stood the wonderful sweet potato.

First off, I believe I am mentally ready for this. ¬†While preparing myself for this, I have been reading the book “It Starts with Food” which goes hand in hand with the Whole30 Challenge. ¬†I read the section about not including grains and I thought, “dang, not even quinoa?! ¬†I just starting liking the stuff!!”

Screen Shot 2013-05-31 at 11.37.36 PM

Yesterday and today I had my blood sugar drop too low because I was training too hard without enough fuel in the tank. ¬†This morning I needed a sugar hit fast because all the yuck was coming with a vengence. ¬†I ate a bowl of almond milk and some honey bunches of oats (it’s what was in the house…). ¬†Now, you’re probably asking yourself why I’m telling you this. ¬†Because for the rest of the day I had bubble guts!

Sorry, it’s a wee bit gross, but I swear… one week off of “traditional” carbs and primarily processed foods and my stomach went into temper tantrums! ¬†It’s over 12 hours later and I’m just now finally feeling some relief. ¬†I had no idea it would effect me like that. ¬†I had no idea that eating so clean would detox my system so quickly.

I am ready. ¬†I know there will moments I will cave and in those moments I will have to endure the consequences. ¬†Hopefully I remember how this feels. ¬†Because this sucks. ¬†I already know there are a few exceptions I’m making to my challenge and it’s simply because of the workload I pull during my trainings. ¬†(1) I will have a protein shake (with just water) immediately following my training sessions and (2) I will have a second protein shake (with almond milk) directly before bed to help me sleep and hold me on through breakfast the next day. ¬†I don’t honestly know how the Whole30 folks feel about supplements but I will still be taking my stash of those too. ¬†The big cuts and adjustments I will have to learn to live with are virtually no “traditional” grainy carbs and absolutely NO refined sugars or artificial sweeteners. ¬†My sugar will be severely limited and restricted to coming from plant sources. ¬†I am also going to up the amount of veggies I am taking in and learn how to get really friendly with the spices ūüėČ

These are all changes that need to happen. ¬†My nutritional intake in completely under my control. I am excited and nervous about this. ¬†I can’t promise I’ll update daily but I will be taking pictures of some of the food choices I’m making. ¬†And for starters:

photo 3photo 2photo 1

If you’ve got any advice or suggestions shoot them my way! ¬†Or even if you’ve got questions, feel free to ask and I’ll do the best I can to answer it ūüôā

I was going through some of my old weight watchers goodies and I realized something. ¬†I have been working on improving myself has hit it’s one year anniversary.

Yes, I have been dealing with my weight for a¬†number¬†years now, but I’ve got actual documentation from weight watchers. ¬†When I joined weight watchers it was May 12, 2012 and I weighed 188.8 pounds. ¬†I was roughly 6 weeks post-partum and miserably tired.

I am 155 pounds (give or take depending on the day LOL) and I’m happy. ¬†Honestly happy. ¬†There was a time that I was so frustrated with my scale that I was honestly depressed I “couldn’t” lose weight anymore. ¬†I am at my body’s comfort zone right now. ¬†And I’m okay with that. ¬†I am in a size 6 (I just found that out yesterday!!) and I’m the smallest and strongest I’ve ever been. ¬†I’m toned. ¬†I have confidence in myself. ¬†So much so that I’ve signed up for a marathon of all things!!

I don’t count my points anymore, but I do watch my caloric intake, as well as watching my macro nutrients. ¬†I drink anywhere between a half and whole gallon of water a day, and if I don’t, I’ve got a headache the whole next day. ¬†My diet is roughly 70% clean and that works for me and my family.

In order to celebrate this “anniversary” here are some things I’ve learned along the way:

  • You can’t out-exercise a bad diet
  • Sometimes you need to give yourself a break, indulge and get back on the wagon
  • Food intake has been the absolute hardest part of changing my lifestyle
  • Forgive yourself, you are not perfect
  • Drink water. ¬†Drink when you’re thirsty. ¬†Drink when you’re hungry. ¬†Drink when you THINK your hungry. ¬†Just drink!
  • You will have set backs. ¬†You will over indulge and love every single taste. ¬†You’ll feel like crap shortly after. ¬†You will be fine and you just need to put that in the memory bank for the next time you want to eat the whole batch of delicious cupcakes you make for you daughter’s birthday ūüėČ
  • Lift weights and lift heavy!
  • push your limits
  • find yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually. ¬†it makes a difference
  • You can’t plan out every single day and expect it to actually work every single day. ¬†work with the challenges. ¬†they make you stronger
  • a little retail therapy when you’ve lost your motivation can go a long way
  • planning = success
  • TAKE EVERY SINGLE COMPLIMENT YOU ARE GIVEN. ¬†(and don’t be so stingy with them either)
  • You are more important than what the scale reads. ¬†You will plateau on the scale but not in reality.
  • Take progress pictures!!

Okay I should probably stop. ¬†Yes, I’ve learned a lot. ¬†Some of them are more at the front of my brain than others, but they are in there regardless.

If you are on your own journey, I wish you all the best!

I had to take a week off! ¬†From what? ¬†Well, apparently everything! ¬†I ate what I wanted. ¬†I didn’t track any of it. ¬†I cried from the loneliness. ¬†I laughed with my kids. ¬†I worked my butt off at the gym. ¬†I sat on my butt at home. ¬†I did whatever I felt like. ¬†I didn’t blog any of it. ¬†I didn’t crochet. ¬†I did whatever the mood told me to do. ¬†I stayed up until after midnight numerous nights. ¬†When I was tired, I slept. ¬†It was just a week off.

Link is gone, again. ¬†Playing in the sandbox, so I’m back to missing him horribly. ¬†I had a baby maker scare right as he was leaving, but yay, no buns in this oven! ¬†(note – we do want more, just not yet… ¬†The littlest one is only 14 months old!!) ¬†I was literally finding every excuse in the book to justify what it was I was doing, be it for my own improvement, or more likely, when it wasn’t.

But the scare is over. ¬†My training has picked up again. ¬†Nick wants all my workouts to be super-secret spy stuff so we can shock the world with my massive improvements. ¬†LOL ¬†Not really, but we are keeping the workouts under wraps for the time being. ¬†Just know, he’s quite literally working my booty off and up! ¬†Even with this past week being crap as far as my diet was concerned, I am still really excited to take and post my progress pictures. ¬†I think I’m supposed to do them again next weekend. ¬†Since I don’t like the actual action of taking the pictures, I’m only doing them monthly.

I thought I would show a quick little progress picture. ¬†My family took some pictures last July 2012 and we just took some more while Link was here. ¬†I’m quite happy with how everyone has improved. ūüôāImage¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†July 2012

Image      May 2013

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers. ¬†Not just the ones with little munchkins clawing at their legs for attention, but to those with four-legged babies, feathered babies, gilled babies, surrogate children (I know I have a few “moms” out there), and the mommas who may have lost their little ones early on. ¬†Although I do agree that Moms as a whole should be celebrated on a daily basis, because I mean seriously, WE’RE AWESOME, it takes the effect away.

By have a one day dedicated to mothers, it’s a day for momma’s to really enjoy being pampered for all we do. ¬†My daughter made a joke the other day: “Daddy, what does one daddy plus one daddy equal?” ¬†(We both had no idea where she was going with it…) Link: “I don’t know baby, what?” ¬†Ell: a Mommy!!! ¬†

I, of course, thought it was hilarious! ¬†It takes two daddies to do what one mommy does… yep, still giggling inside. ¬†

Before the rants start, there are some stellar dads out there, but hey, this is my day! ūüôā

Anywho, back to becoming a better me. ¬†I was in a funk of a mood Friday and Saturday for a variety of reasons, one of them being that I wasn’t fueling myself properly. ¬†The types of food weren’t the best, but they definitely weren’t bad. ¬†The bigger problem was because I was moving moving moving this weekend, I just wasn’t getting enough of it. ¬†

I’m hoping this has to do with the shock my body has been going through since Nick changed my workouts. ¬†We’ve seriously upped the intensity of the workouts and I’m already noticing differences in my legs, it’s crazy! ¬†I’m loving every single, sweat dripping workout! ¬†I feel better prepared to tackle my dietary disciple issues because I’m working so hard at the gym. ¬†I don’t want to be my own success’s saboteur!

I did have to take it pretty easy as far as working out goes this weekend though. ¬†My arches have been killing me! ¬†I did some myofacial release on them to help alleviate the pain and it definitely helped. ¬†It’s much better today, but I think I’m still going to skip a run tomorrow and do another type of high intensity, low impact cardio. ¬†We will see. ¬†I pinned a bunch of new workouts I want to try on Pintrest! ¬†Oh, what’s that? ¬†You want to follow me on there?? ¬†Be my guest, you can find me right here!¬†

Link will be going back to play in the sandbox for a few more months later on this week. ¬†I’m hoping to expend my lonely energies at the gym and just wait for the endorphins to help me through it. ¬†I will keep everyone posted as to how the week goes. ¬†

Oh, and black bean brownies are on the “to bake” list week. ¬†Pictures and review to come!¬†

Hope you have a great week!


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